A cuppa, anyone?
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They call me Em. Or M.
Love like you've never loved before; don't hold back. Always love a cappuccino with toast and some newspapers. Enjoy the quiet mornings. Oh and hang on tight to those heartstrings - they are all that matters! Most importantly: LOVE GOD, love people.
Let's be the salt and light of the earth
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Friday, December 30, 2005, 10:37 PM
wow. time passes so slowly yet so quickly. the day after we'll be offficially sec 3s!!! lols.i read somebody's blog and was reminded of something. you cannot do anything about it.. life's like that people come and go and the sun moves around the earth the same way everyday. nothing lasts forever what to do? missing doesn't help. but on the other hand trying to forget might make you remember (gosh isn't this how Perhaps Love is all about?) God has a plan for everybody and i believe we should all be ourselves. i mean what's done's done and whether you like it or not you're in that class means you're in that class whether you like it or not the sec4s are still leaving next year and whether you like it or not you'll have to take O levels the year after (mann i cant believe it. im talking about O levels??) what can you ever do about all this?
sometimes i wish i was an actress. then i dont have to study and go through all this shit. mind you the "shit" has a certain definition. i wish i was an actress or superstar and have everyone following and adoring me wherever i go and everyday i'll just stare at the camera, give a smile and have 3.2 million dollars to sleep in.
it's just so shitty.
i know what you're thinking now this is so not a happy blog unfortunately, im here to tell you that im not always like that. this world obviously has more things to be frustrated and vexed about than happy things.
but im really happy that i cut my hair. and got into 3C.
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Sunday, December 25, 2005, 10:02 PM
i had this horrible horrible thought yesterday afternoon. my mum asked me to throw something down the rubbish chute and the truth is i dont really like that chute. it's spoilt and it's disgusting. ok so it was half open (i told you it was disgusting. and spoilt.) , and then this horrible thought came: maybe there's a severed head in there. maybe someone chopped off somebody's head and threw it down the chute but it's stuck there.i mean i just dont know why that thought popped out okay. i really dont like the corridor of my house. i just feel that it's rather unsafe. sigh. most of the time i'll act like one of those baddies in Home Alone series looking around furtively (and often stupidly) thinking that i might be attacked by a person who pops out from the staircase (OMG CHOY.) lols.. i dont know lar.
HMM. kinda weird you know. i'm starting to believe that the person i talked to wasn't you. it's uber weird lar. why in the world would you suddenly sound so much like the green elf in the movie? exactly. maybe it's your mum trying to spy on us. maybe she's trying to take revenge cause her kid loves me too much (well everybody loves meXD) and is paying too much attention to our gossip and stuff. OR maybe she feels left out because she doesn't understand lingo. WHATEVER
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6:02 PM
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!mans i was quite busy yesterday and slept quite late.. Brought JiaLiu HB and ZX to watch the Magic of Love. haha travelled for quite a long time sia. the show was quite nice lar.. i liked the part when Prisilla danced with the stick of fire (or was it a stem?erm dunno..)but i realised there wasn't much applause. sigh perhaps singaporeans aren't as appreciative as americans or europeans. cause im sure they'll applaud like there's no tomorrow and give standing ovations.
so i came back for Christmas dinner, and YAY!!!! we had turkey (with chestnut stuffing), roast beef, spagetti and ham. ahha i ate so much that i wanted to vomit.
i would very much like to enjoy my Christmas but i just read an email from alyssa. sigh looks like we have to make some changes to our proposal. quite troubled. and Bena's not in spore.. so i guess i'll have to meet up with some of the people. by tmr? hopefully.
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Friday, December 23, 2005, 11:48 PM
i really like what i said to xinyi just now.we must learn not to keep everything to outselves. it burns a hole in a heart and if you dont talk, it continues to burn and soon you'll have no heart and that's when you feel that the world's meaningless. well it sounds logical right. hmm. i really can make it to being a shrink.
what about the "i am not what you think i am" thing? we both agreed that it's absolutely suitable for the world (I LOVE THE WORLD!). i mean i like the idea. he claims he has already started building a "hidden high security basement 99". haha as i said it doesn't make you seem vulnerable.. but being really secure can be a problem.
school of psychology here i come!!! XD
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11:20 PM
i wish i had the ability to read other people's minds so i would gouge out some dirty information and perhaps boycott them. looks deceive. you can never, ever know what a person thinks. i mean how could you look at me like that? i didn't think you were that sort of person. i dont owe you okay. and you're younger so bend down, look at your pretty pencil case and shut up. GOD. youngsters nowadays..*shakes head* sigh sometimes i just cant stand people who think they're cleverer than me.(ok so what if you're cleverer? you can just be another no-lifer right) God bless you.NVM ABOUT THAT. not worth my mentioning (well i just did. whatever.) hmm CONGRATS! you just murdered a person. but i was not exactly correct when i said i murdered someone else too because..wait. ya right..i did murder someone. yours wasn't that bad! this absolutely shows you're still on the pricelist! woots. commiting murders are part of our lives (that is if you're some of the better and skilled ones) we shouldn't think too much of it.. but what happens if the weapons are on us? i think we'll treat the matter more seriously (and usually more dramatically) than others. so.. i hope..sigh nvm.
wow now i'm having a discussion with xinyi about friendship. interesting..
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Thursday, December 22, 2005, 9:04 PM
WHEETS. TODAY WAS SO FUN. firstly it was erhu lesson lar and i learnt part of a new song. XDTHEN I WENT TO WATCH THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA WIF DORODEAR!!!we went plaza sing to watch it (I NOE IT'S FAR BUT IT'S WORTH IT KAY.) ya so we decided to reach there earlier so that we can GET tickets (because it's the first day of the movie) and the queue was so loooooooongg.. AND YOU KNOW WAD. obviously we got front row seats. i mean it's like wow can get to see the actors' faces up close.
i asked the lady: "Any seats left for the 2.30 timeslot?
Pissed-looking lady: "FIRST ROW."
So i asked again: "What about the 3 o'clock timeslot?"
pissed-looking lady:"2ND ROW."
Me:"OKAY. 2 tix please."
Then we went to have our lunch.
SOON it was movie and face observing time. and where were our seats? true enough 2nd row and to the very left of the screen.
so throughout the whole movie we had to slant our heads and lift them up at an angle to watch the movie. dorodear's neck was hurting but mine wasn'tXD. ANYWAY, the movie was nice. i almost cried.. and i realised after the movie i became a narnia fan.
IT WAS GREAT TODAYX]]]
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Wednesday, December 21, 2005, 3:45 PM
waahh.. had a meeting in co rm this morning. and i must say that im quite excited about this cca openhouse!! wheets. (or is it WOOTS?) we get to paint designs on t-shirts and make NEW BANNERS. XD but we have to wait for the teachers' approval. i dont think we have to wait long because we have to do all these, and i dont think the teachers would oppose to something that is completely not breaking the school rules and that's definitely legal.sigh. i dont know what to type. holidays are shiokingly boring. been to orchard a few times and that supposedly kbox trip became a visit to MOS and a walking session. we just walked aimlessly through orchard and we didn't even go into any of the shopping places. OHWELL.
the best thing about being bored is that you have the energy to just..stare. i mean not as in stare like how HJ does lar(that's a LITTLE freaky=X oops sry) you have the energy to daydream. i think about the things im going to accomplish in years to come or what will happen to me the next day. maybe this will happen. or maybe i'll get to say this and this and then i get respected. the next day i might do a somersault accidentally in front of everybody and they all applaud!! yea. that kinda of stuff. but usually i always do the thinking part and not the action partXD. LOLS. sounds stupid but sometimes i like being alone at home because you can just sit at your table and daydream or stare at your lighter. but being alone at home is not very fun because im very sensitive to noise and if i hear something i might think it's something else.. in other words, i dont really like silence. i like noiseX]] the solution to this problem is the almighty CD player.
sometimes you do some online tests that tell you what kind of a person you are and when you answer their questions you think to yourself: is this what i really am or is it wad i want people to think i am. i consider that too and i believe i want people to look at me in a certain way. (explanation: im not saying that i want people to look at me that way. gosh it's sick.) aiya you get what i mean lar..yea maybe those tests weren't done truthfully and i don't really believe what im seeing but seeing is believing. (hmm. where have i heard this from? sounds extremely familiar.) and i dont know what the hell im talking about. ok anyway, what im trying to say is that although some tests weren't done really truthfully but they turned out quite accurate. well what can i do right. im bored.
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Friday, December 16, 2005, 9:16 PM
i'll wait until you see what i've written for you. (well if you don't EVER read blogs then..sigh nevermind=/)(0) comments
Thursday, December 15, 2005, 9:43 PM
hmm. i started doodling towards the end of piano lesson because sonata was simply too boring. (Cat you can't blame me.) then i realised how good drawing can be. drawing allows you to express your feelings towards things (im NOT mrs chan's pet=]]), and you don't need to have an explanation for anything you draw. be it abstraction or comic or whatever. i think drawing is the right thing for me lor. i mean i dont have a person to talk to all the time so i rather draw everything out. it's as good as talking. (TOTALLY..) BEHOLD. i've just created my own series:the weenie series
i know it sounds kinda stupid but it's meant to be stupid. you know why? im about to create the most pathetic, the most pitiful character you've even seen in a comic. what im creating, is a complete FAILURE. yup and whatever that i experience in life i'll link it back to
the weenie series
and i think any of you read it you might have hung me up right up and whipped me to death. or you could have said," EMILY. How could you draw all these? That guy's too pathethic. Ohman i think you watch too much HTF.It's disgustingly pathetic!!" YES that's the kind of loser im creating. it is the biggest loser. LOL but it depends on whether im determined to finish the comic or not (most likely i will cause i'll be bringing around a notebook wherever i goXD)lol EMILY YOU'RE A GENIUS. nonono.. EMILY, YOU'RE THE GREATEST. XDDDD
now this one's for you (i dont know whether you read this or not but i really hope you do):
im not sure about you but dont you realise there's a distance between us? not that i said anything bad about you but.. some moments became awkward. isn't friendship supposed to be erm..not awkward? friendship is present when even silence can be comfortable. i just.. sigh nevermind.. what i want to say is that erm.. thankyou for helping me in the past. thanks for all the times you reminded me about stuff, i can never thank you enough. thank you for helping. Again. i feel bad. i dont want you to think that im taking everything for granted. im not waiting for you to help me. it's just that.. those two wrds THANKYOU just can't slip out of my mouth. my brain was screaming to say thank you but i thought the atmosphere wasn't suitable to say anything polite (mainly because again, it was awkward) you're a great friend. and i want to say thank you. thank you so much.
[oh and another (totally different) thing: this was how you shut me up. revenge you know during piano lesson i had this crazy idea. what if, one day, i came up to your house. without you knowing. then i'll slip a piece of paper under your door saying,"im watching" how would you feel? or shall i appear at your door pretending to promote ice cream. and i'll flash this phony smile and then.. i'll stab your eye (with a rusty penknife so you get some incurable disease. GOD im evil.) . HAHAHHAHAh that was the crazy idea. i'll get that job soon and i'm coming. ]
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2:40 PM
MANDY. ahahhahahhha read your blog just now. HAHAHHAH DONT CHA. love that song man. but it's really no substance. erm i wasn't thinking about asking her out cause im simply too high class=]]] why not we go spray paint on her door lar. or.. errrrrr make prank calls? hHAHAHHAHAH we dont have to do anything to her or what. make her feel small and insignificant. MAKE HER BLEND INTO THE SURROUNDINGS. hahhhahah EMILY YOU'RE A GENIUS. say i rule.XDDD(0) comments
Wednesday, December 14, 2005, 12:27 PM
here comes the rain againfalling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
doesn't make much sense HAHAHAHAHAHAH im going hyper very soon may all disappear and burst like bubbles then killing will be easyXD
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11:13 AM
you know i've thought about it. i've thought about it looong and hard. Maybe you're right Mandy, maybe i was being unfair when i said all that. but you see i dont think saying that has made any difference. in fact i should have said more, i should have talked about it until the person felt so small, until the person can actually slip into the grating of the drain. yea i really hope i can get a chance to do that. and BOOM.. now i really wish that could happen. it's not working man.the best thing and the hateful thing about blogging is that it's for the public to read. i know you and you and you and you and you are reading. the good thing about blogging is that you don't have to tell a person face to face how you feel. you can just blog about it and the person reads and you don't have to say much. however there are many incidents that involve misunderstanding. i think that's because sometimes we don't have trust between one another. you might blog about a person's shortcomings and feel that it's for the person's own good but many times people misunderstand and take it that you're criticising him/her. i think having a blog is quite fun because you can type alot (i like typing) and at the same time vent all your frustration. sadly im not like most of you who can write whatever you want on your blog. eyes are watching XD so wads the point of having a blog right? it's really a sad sad thing. right now perhaps you are reading, and you too. blogging can be torturous for me because i have to use other things represent what i want to write. i can't blog about the actual thing itself. but most of the time i guess i'm comforting (or should i say decieving) myself saying that what im doing is to improve my lit and for the sake of mankind.X] so usually most of you don't understand what im writng. im being pushed to this state=)
ok. i have legs i can walk the doors are not always closing in on me. there's still time. so relax. (me: *smacks forehead* sickening..) yaya you wouldn't stoop soooo low to talk to me right whatever i say you'll think it's to lowly for you to listen. yaya so you shouldn't talk to me in futureX] i told you so many times you wouldn't listen don't get cocky okayy. what an unfeeling person *shakes head* ok you're good. YOU'RE GOOD. *claps* you're goood. shall i continue to say how FANTASTIC or how CLEVER you are? i mean seriously, you're good. you're toooo good.
and err some people are just so busy right. i don't see where this car is heading and i believe it's gonna crash very soon. we're all slackers ya?XD totally. too slack. but i couldn't do anything about it. yea. cheers buddy hahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahah
i could have blogged a hell lot more if it wasn't for the Eye. i couldn't be bothered
oh Emily you deserve a beating. Emily you should slap yourself. i hate myself sometimes. i hate everyone okayy. (xcept some) i don't ever discriminate. i hate you and you and you and you. i feel helpless sometimes, i feel frustrated but nobody actually knows (xcept Mandy. thx babeXD) URGH WHATEVER.
damitol is definitely what i need
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Monday, December 12, 2005, 5:24 PM
my adorable cousins!!!!they came over first.
okay.then it's the food
people parading around the food
eating time
the guy in orange is the talker of the day. Cat kept telling me that LR's mad well i agree too=) Mum and Aunt noticed that there was this particular guy who couldn't stop talking and they thought LR was funny, Cat wanted to be best friends with LR..haha JJ wa laughing like mad when LR was talking.
aubrey lee eating
somewhere during the dinner because of JJ's shaky hands he spilt some coke. and Mum screeched, telling JJ to clean it up. LOLS.. played the number guessing game, the person who guessed the number had to eat the unfinished food. (including fried food like fishballs and springrolls and samosas and fried chicken wings) the purpose is tp make life difficult for KL.. ahaahhahahahha =X
after that it was the cake
erm cake eating time?
sharing session with Mum?
grp photo
best year of my life so far!!!
ok the presents
from dawn and norine
from day aub and kahhan
from lirui
from DOROTHY!!!!! ultimate prom dress. far-sighted uh dorothy, choose prom dress for me liao..XDDD
from JJ lighter with green flame.. interesting
from zhixin
from mum and Cat
from kl
oh i almost forgot dorothy also gave me a card. first time she ever drew anything for meXD
lols.. thkq everybody again..thx for coming and thx for the presentsXD hope we can get together like this again
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Sunday, December 11, 2005, 10:47 PM
hmm i dont have that urge to scream everything out now. it was terrible. i had never tried keeping things to myself for so long and after so much thinking before. omg.. you can never imagine. i simply cannot stand having no one to talk to about it. i cant imagine the consequences or the reactions if i said it all out. *shakes head* cant help it. got myself into such deep shit. lols ohmy i made it sound sooooo bad. HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHit seems weird that i dont like exams but i like thinking. perhaps the thinking time is also a time for me to daydream and really sit down to think about..things. haha i realised my pace is slower than others. i mean i think alot you know. (other people:*oh-come-on-give-me-a-break look*) i just like thinking. X]
i guess that day was the hardest. i wanted to scream it all out on my blog but decided not to because as i said the world's never safe and i can never find out who knows and who dont knowX].i wanted to talk to somebody bout it? but couldn't find a suitable person. i could only have a brain juice battle in my brain. cleenies drowning dirties with brain juice
ohwell. the world's never safe (if you can really get what i mean *wink* well i dont think anybody will>_<) i'll just stuff every thought back into my brain
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6:29 PM
WOW..went to the max pavilion today for service. IT WAS GREAT!!! soooo many people were there, from bukit merah and from marine parade.. wow i simply loved the worship because i could jump and sing all i want. but the bad thing was that we were sitting in front (or were at 45 degrees angle of elevation)from those huge speakers. MAN the speakers were pounding with music and each sound of the drum pierced into my heart. IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE SOUNDWAVES!!!! ahh. nearly suffered from a punctured heart. the soundwaves were forceful. other than that it was ok and i was really touched when the cross was carried out. i couldn't help crying.mans i have to do tuition homework so i think i'll upload the pics of my bdae party nxt time..talking bout the bdae party it was nice lar. 10 ppl came to my house to have dinner.. then the trackers talked bout their perth trip lor(well it was mostly LR who was talking). funny guy arh. my mum and Cat and my aunt all noticed there's this ultra talkative and funny guy talking. Cat even said she wanted to be best friends with LR because he was so funny..haha then my mum said that KL had a serious look and she thought that Aubrey was bubblyXDD haha i'll upload the pics some other day..
I LOVE MY LIFE
thank you all who came to this "dinner" (i really dont want to make it sound like a PARTY *shakes head* nonono..) thkq everybody for their presents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Friday, December 09, 2005, 12:25 PM
sometimesihateyouwhyisitalwaysmewhowaitsareyoudeadorwhat
whyareyousoinsensitivestillsayingwhateveryousaidtherearepeoplemorecaringandlovingthanyouicouldn'tandit'sbecauseofyou
youknowwhysimplereason
it'sallbecauseyoucareonlyaboutyourself
moron.indifferentpushyarrogantdisgustinguncaringinsincereidioticretardedfreak
damitol
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Tuesday, December 06, 2005, 9:25 PM
sian. im sick of doing homework cause i cant seem to finish them. but im determined to finish all of it by this week..went bugis village. it was great fun.. so many shops to go to!! but my horrible shoes gave me some bubbling blisters=/ other than that nothing much.
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Saturday, December 03, 2005, 10:20 PM
AHHH. i just realised im chubbier nw. my face is roouuunnder.. ahahahohmy. i have never seen my face being round before.
hmm. it must be the stress. and school.
ahahhahahahahahah
sitting around all day and watching tv eating ice cream makes me fat.lol.
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3:07 PM
yawn. slept at 12 last night. stayed up to watch anime
new series. what rumbling hearts. PEEew. i think it's awful animation.
prefer Godannar. who cares anyway.
had been thinking again. thinking this morning that everything changes
whether or not we'll have a future is not certain yet because i know there'll be changes.
changes as in c-h-a-n-g-e-s. it's not jackie chan gor gors. (which explains chan ges)
im not sure whether or not i'll be something else but i really hope everybody wouldn't change.
sadly i feel that im likely to change and this change would probably__________.
great.
i dont know what to do
i dont feel safe.
walls have ears
AHHH.
i'll just have to treasure the times we people spend together=/
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Friday, December 02, 2005, 5:22 AM
cca's finally over.
mans it was until 6.45pm. i could have just died on the spot without knowing why.
it was so boring. other people were playing their exam pieces
while i floated around cause i had nth to do.
my exam's over wadd..
AHAHHHAHAHHHAHAH
but playing the kongshanniaoyu with jialiu was fun
(although she played it at a freakiing lightning speed)
LOLS
sian. nth much to blog about today
nothing much to discuss
BLEAH.
my 1.7m jieXD
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